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与大孩子一起度过时间与这个婆婆等于钱

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应对的最具挑战性的关系之一是可怕的“婆婆”。您可能是选择对生活的热爱的人,但随之而来的家庭不是。有些家庭可以与之融合,而另一些则没有。而且,当孩子被带入图片时,可能会引起更多问题。每个人都希望他们提出的方式是他们应该吃的东西以及他们的成就应该是什么样的。

虽然,一些女儿期待着另一个有爱心的母亲的帮助,照顾他们的孩子。但是,让我们知道这一点,孩子们被带到这里和那里见奶奶的孩子之间有很大的区别,期望祖父母每天在工作时每天看着他们。这个婆婆处于后一种情况下,现在被称为婆婆,期望有钱看孩子。

抱着婴儿的岳母
通过Bricolage/shutterstock图像

艾米的故事

艾米写信给美好的一面to share her story. She has been married for 10 happy years and brought a beautiful now 6-month-old baby into the world. She says that she and her husband both work full-time jobs. Her working at an office and her husband is at home. She goes on to explain that her mother-in-law who is retired, offered to look after the baby while they worked. Of course, Amy and her husband were happy to get the help and knew they could trust his mom. Amy Says “她有孩子的路。”“我非常感谢她的时间和奉献精神,以及她所做的一切。”除了她从看婴儿,烹饪和清洁的帮助下。

“我的婆婆怎么敢为美好的时间要求钱?”

当她的婆婆“敢于” to ask for money for watching the baby. She requested them to pay her a payment per hour wage for the time she looked after the baby. Amy’s husband on the other hand agreed that his mom should be paid. Just think about how much it would cost to pay for professional help, it would be way more expensive. Amy was completely torn on the idea of how to handle the situation.

MCC:岳母育儿

祖父母通常是照顾祖父母的祖父母。爸爸妈妈终于可以放松身心,而孩子们得到了他们需要的关注和关心。例如,我不太喜欢一个陌生人照顾我的孩子的想法。我想让您了解,我的意思是一个受到正常或全职照顾的孩子。艾米和她的岳母也是如此。通常,偶尔的访问不需要付款,但是在这种情况下,我明白了为什么艾米感到困惑。

Awkward Conversation

钱是一个非常艰难的主题,谈论您是问您还是有人问您。一些祖父母希望付费的时间,但拒绝问,因为这是一个敏感的话题。因此,这就是为什么对此进行公开讨论非常重要的原因。即使他们是一家人,保姆还是一项全职工作,需要一个人做饭,清洁,娱乐,甚至涉及购买食物,玩具等。有些人可能会发现观看家庭成员的费用很疯狂,但有些人可能有当他们的时间被花费太多时,会改变主意。

Expressing Gratitude

确保向照顾孩子的家人和祖父母表达。他们为您和他们的孙子们节省时间和奉献精神。您可以通过制作卡片,带上鲜花,烘烤食物,帮助杂务或账单等来表示赞赏。这还包括祖父母对假期的需求或避免看孩子。当您期待他人的事情时,它将开始使他们感到自己被利用。这将慢慢地导致个人变得不高兴并建立怨恨。表达您对他们的时间的感激之情,并为回报提供礼物或付款肯定会避免任何严厉的遭遇和负面结果。

婆婆保姆付款

If a family member or grandparent decides they want compensation for watching your kids, then make sure to be very clear with any guidelines. Make sure to come to an agreement on an amount. You can choose to base this on daycare employees, or babysitters in the area where you live. Make sure to take into account the number of kids, their ages, specialty care that they may need (such as health conditions needing extra attention), and if extra chores such as cleaning, cooking, shopping, driving, etc are involved. Decide if the pay will be given at the end of each day, week, month, etc. You can offer breaks or time off for vacation too. Also, make sure you are reimbursing grandparents for any food, toys, gas, and activities they buy for your kids.

作为我自己的父母,我可以理解托儿的难以置信。因为祖父母是照顾孩子的人,请确保您可以做一些使他们更容易的事情。计划需要他们观看或不会对他们施加太大压力的活动。您可以通过购买门票等在动物园或电影中设置一天。

沟通是关键!

非常重要的是,确保您的孩子知道谁在看谁。在某些成年人面前,有些孩子可能会感到更加宠坏。祖父母倾向于破坏他们的孙子孙女,因此请确保他们不在时知道谁制定规则。如果您有特定的规则,请确保在奶奶和爷爷的家中相同。例如,在活动前做作业,晚餐前没有甜点,还有预定的就寝时间。

Always remember that sometimes grandparents and others can’t babysit, so don’t make them feel bad for not being able to. Each person has their own life, schedule, hobbies, etc. The pleasure of watching over grandkids should not feel like a burden to them. So, be sure to check-in and make sure they are still feeling up for babysitting every now and then. If something important comes up, make sure to rearrange your schedule so the grandparent can do what they need to do. In the end, it is a must to have open and ongoing conversations about certain topics to avoid any misunderstandings. You want to make sure that everyone agrees and everyone is happy.

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我不敢相信她说“敢”要付款。我不敢相信她希望自己的米尔照顾婴儿,“帮助她从她看着婴儿,做饭和清洁的地方收到。”她本来不得不为其他人付出大量的钱来看她的孩子!我有6个孩子,我的妈妈为我保姆很多次,她得到了报酬!

同意

我的第一个出生时,我带我去上班,我有一个单独的办公室,管理了想要的twopharmacies。但是当她14个月大时,她在工作中分心。
我的法律说他们会照顾她,我有我的烦恼,但认为她可能会学习西班牙语,因为她的父亲和他的家人来自波多黎各。当婴儿2岁时,她停止想要妈妈或与我们一起回家时,情况顺利进行了几个月。我的米尔(Mil)也给了她咖啡馆,她喜欢它。因此,终于在18个月的时间里,我辞职了,呆在家里抚养我的女儿。当其他两个孙子出现了很长时间时,Inlaws搬回了波多黎各。然后gro吟着他们从未见过我们这是45年前,但是即使我很聪明,也足够知道不要和3个孩子一起旅行到我从未去过的一个地方。
因此,现在我有自己的孙子孙女3 1/2、11个月零7周。他们的护理管理前两个是我最小的女儿和她的丈夫,他工作的日子从第一天起就没有外部护理。

当然应该付钱。这将是其他任何人的付费工作。我偶尔可以理解,这可能仅是出于爱(和免费)而完成的,否则我们会利用这个人。如果有人要求他们在工作期间一直打电话给这些父母会感觉如何 - 免费???

付给大父母!停止抱怨它。如果您不这样做,您会付钱给别人。这只是公平的。大父母不是免费的保姆,因此您可以出去赚钱。如果您不得不去日托,就可以像您一样付款。

我同意向岳母支付某种赔偿,尤其是如果她正在看着M-F,就像普通的日托设施一样。是否退休并有“空闲时间”来做。假设她没有其他事情要做,这是很有意义的!当然,她可能比日托便宜。但是,如果您相信她在日托中的服务,那么对孩子的福利的安心是无价的!

当他们问时,我得到了“她没有更好的事情”的氛围。祖父母已经抚养了孩子,我不能责怪这笔米尔要求付款,因为她提供了时间,她可以在与孩子们捆绑时要完成她想做的其他事情。它使我感到愤怒,所以当“他们假设”您会这样做时,这是不公平的。我最小的孩子有一个2个月大的孩子,她在到达前几个月问我坐下来。我礼貌地拒绝了,据我所知,蹒跚学步的阶段将会到来,这次我觉得我无法应付。我的帮助可能比我的大女儿要多,但是他们是5、8和10-娱乐,这不是整个星期。没有付款,她正试图在令人讨厌的分居/离婚下离开。同样,请不要以为他们会为您和免费。我想知道当他们是祖父母时,“他们”是否会免费这样做???

如果您付给MIL,请在年底给她1099。然后扣除您的税收。她将不得不向1099年的税款宣布税款。

They would have to pay someone else and even if it is your grandchild it ties you down and keeps you from doing something else you might want to do. Also she loves him/her so you know they are well taken care of.

My mother babysat my kids when they were younger while i worked. I pad her a daily amount. No way did i expect her to do it for free – she is not obligated and was giving up other activities to watch them – my younger brother also paid her when she watched his kids – nno one should expect them to do it free of charge if you are working – its usually less money than a normal sitter and you get better care.

我的儿子和他的妻子付钱给我看我的孙子。我把钱放进了我孙子的储蓄帐户中。

惊人的!

If your mother in law could use the money you should offer it to her. If she s already doing well financially that is another subject but Atleast do something it’s not an easy job and cooking and cleaning too A nanny costs a fortune. So I wouldn’t take advantage

It should not matter how much money the MIL has she should be paid. And what an awful DIL to think she owes her anything. The teenager down the street would charge you and would you feel as safe as when they are with your MIL Husband is right stop being selfish.

I enjoy looking after my grandchildren & think of it as a privilege. I have told my children that my babysitting is their birthday, Christmas & Easter presents so I don’t give anything on these special days. Win win situation for everyone, I believe.

另一个好方法!

照顾那些照顾你的人!她为什么还要问善意!和平与祝福。

我完全了解大父母的感觉。我非常爱我的孙子。无论如何,我一直照顾他们。我没有任何回报,我一直以金钱的骨头在屁股的骨头上,并且在克赖斯特彻奇的地震中被激怒了11年,在失去工作后挣扎着。我不希望照顾他们。时不时会很好。我的两个年龄的大孩子中有两个呆了4天,而父母出门参加朋友婚礼。当父母不在时,女孩病得很重。整夜几次在两个晚上都在所有床上用品中猛烈地走了。我很累,不得不洗衣服,第二天晚上他们仍然生病,我跑了床上用品。 I would have been fine had I had enough bedding. The parents were traveling there and back home by road, before they left there to come home they messaged me and said they were on there way home which should take around 4 hours. 3 hours later I got another message saying they were stopping for a rest, all good I thought at the time. another 3 hours later they were not home. I was starting to worry so I messaged them again as I was tired and falling asleep also not feeling well I told them in a message. There reply was they would be home in about 2 hours. I was then annoyed. to be told they stopped off at some hot pools and spent hours relaxing.
这不是他们第一次做事,已经走了很长时间,为自己做事。我从来没有收到任何照顾女孩甚至其他大孩子的东西。去年,我站在他们身边。
Now they will not let me see either of now 3 younger children I have and they will not even reply when I message them.

我敢打赌,她对保姆和帮助很好,直到她觉得自己被使用而不欣赏

我绝对同意...。付她!
当我最小的孩子开始幼儿园时,我的米尔看着我的三个孩子。我很幸运能够和他们一起呆在家里,但是由于我最小的孩子现在在学校,现在是时候回去上班了。我不相信包括我自己的母亲在内的许多人看着我的女孩。我也是我丈夫祖母的初级保健给予者。因此,我的MIL将从上午8点至下午330点在我家。My girls were at school when she got there and I would get home within a half hour of them coming home, but she was there to watch her mother and Incase one of the kids couldn’t go to school or in times of days off, breaks and summertime. She charged me a very modest fee, but I gladly paid her as I had piece of mind while I was at work, that the kids would be safe and taken care of, and also that my husband’s Grandmother was not alone(she was in her mid80’s at the time.
是的,我基本上付了钱,与她自己的母亲在一起……偶尔有我的孩子。值得,我会一次又一次地做。她确实到了她不再能够做到这一点的时候,并且一旦成为问题,她就告诉我,我对MIL没有难过的感觉或问题,那天我在2周的通知了。她对我助长了近2年的帮助,她的薪水始终是我支票中出现的第一个“账单”。如果不是她,我可能根本不会工作这两年。她的母亲现在需要比一个人要处理的要多得多,所以我该回到家照顾我的家庭了。
如果祖父母可以并且想免费观看他们的孙子孙女,那对您来说是一件好事,但我绝对觉得他们应该为他们所做的一切赔偿,尤其是因为您的孩子与您在一起并信任孩子的信任!

我是“保姆”。值得庆幸的是,我不需要任何付款。我这样做是因为当我有空时,我不想和孙子们在一起。我也很高兴能帮助我的孩子。当我抚养孩子时,我经常希望我的母亲或婆婆能帮助我,而且他们很少这样做。我知道找到您信任您的孩子是多么困难。我会牺牲自己的生命吗?不过,与我的孙子一起度过时光是值得的。知道它只会持续几年,这一切都值得。很快,我们的孙子就长大了。

如果我有这样的机会,也可以回家煮熟的饭菜和干净的房子,我会给她任何她想要的东西!

我做了近25年的家庭托儿服务,当我退休时,我们搬到湖边放松身心并享受自己。几个月后,儿子和daughter妇出现在中期,并向我们展示了妊娠测试,并说:“好吧,现在您退休并搬家了,我们怀孕了!”。所以我说我会看婴儿。他们住在50英里外,所以我星期二去了,度过了晚上,星期三晚上回家,然后回到星期五。我这样做了两年,然后他们使用了日托。然后第二个孩子出生了,我为她做了同样的事情,直到她快两个,并且由于我丈夫的健康问题不得不停下来(他是第一个!)。我要求每周50美元,以帮助支付汽车的汽油和磨损。我还帮助清洁,洗衣服,有时用餐和差事以及宠物。我们去了图书馆,公园和其他活动。我从事教育活动,外部游戏,音乐和许多艺术项目,就像我对家庭托儿所一样。 I love my grandkids (also watched a third one who is now an adult) and love spending time and doing activities with them but I feel asking for some help with transportation is ok and if other grandmothers ask for a little money, I feel that is ok as well. Yes, we love spending time with our grandchildren, having fun and watching them grow, but it is also a lot of “enjoyable” work that we are taking time from our retirement lives. I wouldn’t trade that time with them and I think they appreciate me and the fun times we had a little bit more!! Lots of good memories that we remember all the time.

作为MIL本人,婴儿出生后,我学到了一些有关DIL和儿子的知识。当涉及到婴儿时,无论我做什么,都不是对或不够好。

My role as MIL was great until my DIL had the baby. Something changed. I didn’t want to be a bother but I visited often. I didn’t push but wanted to have time to bond with the baby. Every time I asked my son to “babysit” he would say he would ask her and then tell me other arrangements had already been made. Maybe if I offered to pay them, maybe I would have been able to watch the baby.

我不知道为什么要这么大。支付她的时间和工作。否则,您将利用她作为奶奶的地位。

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